Wife isn’t interested in investing – Property Rant 034

Talk about the topics we fear most. Talking about our partner and their uncertainty about investing when all we want to do is start running… Well steady on there Pony, it’s a long race and it’s better to get your partner onside and with you before you begin.

Decades of dealing with couples have taught me that both partners are not always ready at the same time, those same decades have taught me that this one thing will make things sooooo much easier on you before you begin. It’s the cornerstone of every good relationship and it applies to building a portfolio too.

Video Transcription 

Hey, guys. Property Search... Think Gladfish. I'm Brett Alegre-Wood, and this is Property Rant.

So, today, what I wanted to cover was your wife or your partner doesn't want to invest. They're not interested. You want to race ahead. They don't want to race ahead. What do you do about that?

I think the first thing is...and we'll give you five points, what I see as the five main points and process that you should go through, if they're not involved.

The first one is to communicate. I mean that's the basis for any good relationship, is communication but specifically look into two things. Look into the reasons why they are holding back on investing or not wanting to invest. Is it some preconceived fear which could be based out of a lack of education and therefore you need some education.

You know, it could be a whole range of reasons in there, and look into that. It could be, you know, if you like, it's them, not you. The other side, it could be you, not them. In other words, they may know your history of investments. They may know the way you approach things when it comes to money and that may be creating fear. That may be keeping them a bit, "You know what? Don't really want to do that." So, you know, you've got to look at that, and that's communication process.

The other thing is to take it slow. And what I mean by take it slow is take it slow and educate yourself first. If you educate yourself first, all right, and I guess that's the second point. So first point is communication. Second point, educate yourself first. Take it slow. Get as much as you need to know. Get to know the rules of the game, get to learn exactly what you need to learn so that you're moving with your best foot forward as opposed to, really, what I call gambling. I'm not a gambler. I invest and I'm very strategic about how I invest, and I spend a lot of time researching. Eighty percent of my time is spent researching, 20% of time is actually buying, because when you do that, you tend to buy well, okay, as opposed to getting sold to because everybody is earning commission out of selling your property or selling you an investment. So, communication, take it slow, get educated.

Write a plan. Don't just sit there and talk about it. Write it down, what you're going to do, you know, the premise of what you're going to do, the strategy behind what you're going to do, how the rules of the game work. And when you write that down, you'll get clarity, because you're externalizing that. It's such an important part of the process.

The fourth thing is, what I call, piece of cake. Rather than eating the whole cake and jumping in, boots and all, as they say, actually take a piece, try the piece. And what I mean by that is, say you've got £200,000 to invest, maybe take £30,000 and buy a small property or buy a small investment and just dip your toe in the water as opposed to just jumping in and taking the big one first up. So, you know, it's what we call a piece of cake, but basically, that, I guess is number four.

Number five is really...and this is the final one, is love them and leave them, and I don't really mean that actually, no. To be fair, if they're not going to change, if they're not interested, then at some level, you have to be firm, you know. If you've been through the other steps and you're convinced that this is a thing to do, then what you've got to do is you may have to be firm and come from a position of strength. And what I mean by that is that, if you want to achieve the lifestyle and if you, like, lead the family and take it forward investment-wise, you can't sit around and do nothing.

So you need to communicate, you need to take it slow, get educated. You need to write a plan, you need to, you know, piece of cake, if that's what you need to do to start off with, but when it comes down to it, you are going to have to invest.

You're going to have to put some money away for the future, for your pension, your lifestyle, and your kids, and if you're not prepared to do that, then expect the consequences of that. So, the reality is, it comes down to you have to be firm, you have to come from a position of strength, which is, you know, if you do these things, then you should be in a much better position to then actually move forward, because you have to invest. There is no other choice. You can't sit around and rely on somebody else to look after your financial future. It's your responsibility now. No matter what anyone says, you are responsible.

So you have to lead your family. Lead your family unit, whatever that is, whatever that makeup is, and invest. And whether that's property or whatever that is, you need to define for yourself.

So guys, hopefully, that gives you a little bit of my take on what is a sensitive issue because, you know, it does create tension when one partner wants to do one thing and another partner wants another thing, or one doesn't want to do anything at all and one wants to surge ahead. And that's natural, and you'll find that, actually, good partnerships work like that, where one wants to move ahead, the other one wants to pull them back down. Both are needed, because oftentimes, the guy that wants to go ahead or the girl that wants to go ahead, because it can be both or either, they are actually not the detail person. They're running on the vision, and we need that but we also need the person who's prepared to do the detail, and get down, and dirty with that detail, and really look at the investment for what it is.

So in some ways, working together as a partnership, you know, when you do have both those dynamics happening, is actually the best way to invest, because very few people are able to do, if you like, the aspiration of the concept side and the detail side themselves. But it goes, hopefully, that gives you a bit of a more of an understanding of you know, if your partner doesn't want to move ahead, what to do about it. Fantastic.

Have a great day. Live with passion.

Brett Alegre-Wood
March 14, 2017

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